For the last few days my husband has been yelling at me for undermining him. Friday while I was washing our son’s hair I asked him if he could finger detangle his hair while he lathered it, he bit my head off. Saturday we head on vacation and apparently he was mad that I wanted to pack the car so everything would fit. It was very tight. We get to our rental house, he brings in the bags and drops them right in the entry way, leaves the car half in the garage/half out, and goes to the pool with the kids. My mom helps me put things away and move the car into the garage. He ignores me the rest of the day. Next day at the beach he bites my head off because I asked my daughter who was with him why she hadn’t filled up her water bucket. We were trying to fill up an inflatable pool for our son to sit in. He thought I was talking to him. I end up filling up buckets of ocean water by myself for the pool, while he sits on his phone. Then when we go to the store, my daughter was so excited since she doesn’t go to stores much anymore since the pandemic and I said we can find one thing to get. I feel bad she misses out on such simple things. He said she had enough stuff so I was like ok maybe we just get a drink but there was nothing at the checkout she would drink. She asked instead for Cheetos so I thought that’s harmless enough. I get them and he’s pissed. While we walk out he bites my head off again. When we get home I’m washing my son in the shower. He comes in and yells so loud at me in the shower about how I nitpick everything and I always undermine him, that he said she couldn’t get anything. At this point I’m beyond tired of yelling so I leave the shower quickly. I come out and find he was so loud my mom took my daughter into her room so to not hear us fighting. We have a few days left on vacation and I’m miserable. I apologized last night saying I never meant to undermine you over the snacks to diffuse the tension and make sure our kids have a good week. But he’s BEYOND mad at me for ALWAYS undermining him and nitpicking.

What would you do in this situation? Am I undermining? I’m a type A person that takes charge, I ordered everything for the kids for the trip, did all the laundry, packed up the food, packed their clothes and then when I pack the car it’s an issue.

I feel like I can’t say anything to him or ask a question or suggest anything. If it weren’t for the kids I think I’d want to cancel the remainder of this vacation and head home. I’ve waited months for this and I feel like I’m in hell. Im worried about what impact this has on the kids during this trip and long term.