So my boyfriend and I had sex today and I let him ejaculate inside me with the idea that I would take a plan b after. We went and got it and he dropped me off at home before I could take it since we needed scissors to open the box and he didn’t have any in his car. It took me a few hours to finally take it cause I was having mixed feelings about it. I’m 19 and as much as I want a child I know it’s not easy and neither of us are in a place to be having a kid. He works a lot and he’s in school which is already stressful enough on him but he’s the type of guy to work even harder to make sure me and the baby would be taken care of if I did ever get pregnant. I was hesitant to take it cause I just felt sad about it, like I want to have a baby but at the same time I know that even if im a legal adult my parents would be disappointed in me and that me and my boyfriend would have to struggle to make ends meet. I did take it cause I would feel so guilty if I did end up pregnant and he would have to be under even more pressure. I think it’s harder cause a really good friend of mine is about to have her baby and I think part of me is jealous that even if I want to being doing the same, I cant. I did take it but I still feel kinda sad. I know we have years to have kids but, and I know to some this may sound bad, one of my biggest life goals is to have a family. I have trouble thinking about the career I want to pursue because the most important thing to me about my future is having kids and getting to be a mom. I guess I just feel like I’m not doing what I actually want to be doing with my life right now.