I want to start by saying my mother in law is a lovely woman and I have no issues with her, but here’s the story!

My mom had 4 kids super young and has worked with children her whole life! Both my parents are great with kids and is still very active and love to play with their grandkids and are fantastic babysitters! My mom works part-time and most of her work is from home so she’s always available for last minute help! They’re both healthy and neat freaks so there’s never any worries with the kids picking things up off the floor!

My in-laws both work 8-10 hours a day, 6 days a week. My father in law smokes unfiltered cigarettes and weed in their house, which is never cleaned. The floors are covered in cigarette butts and ashes, cat food, dust and dirt. She never dusts or vacuums.

Both of them are 10+ years older than my parents and in terrible shape! We have to make them wear a clean shirt to hold our daughter because they both smell like cigarettes.

Neither of them are good with kids and barely raised their own kids!

We recently told my mother in law that we are invited to a wedding on labour day weekend, and my sister and her husband are also invited and that my parents will be taking our baby and my niece and nephew for that day and night.

She made a few passive aggressive and hinting comments how she has that weekend off work as if she could watch our daughter and how my parents get to spend more time with her than she does.

We both don’t feel comfortable with her watching our daughter alone, but we don’t know how to talk to her about it.

Anyone ever dealt with something similar or been in a situation like this?