Gestational diabetes


So I posted awhile back about the possibility of having gb. But it’s now a reality. My doctor wants me to test my glucose 4x/daily. Track it, and then the diabetes educator wants to me track everything single thing I eat. Honestly, I haven’t been able to get groceries recently until tomorrow, but I haven’t been able to eat what they want me to, or get in a routine with my sleep or eating. I feel like an absolute failure and like I’m hurting my baby. I can’t fully stop soda, because I’ll end up with migraines. And then the cravings have been all over the place recently. How did you get used to tracking all of this? Am I selfish for not being able to follow certain things they want me to?