I have a bit of an issue..

I had a bad youth, and was physically abused by my brother, who is younger than me. My mom stuck up for my brother and I had to move out and live on my own while going to school still, to not get beaten up every day.

My brother is an exact copy of my dad.. And so is my son.

So my son and my brother look very alike.. (though they're obviously 25 years apart and my son is only 1yo...)

I am scared it will at some point affect my mental health. Like maybe he will be intimidating to me when he reaches a certain age...

I can make sure he is raised well, but I fear that somehow in my subconscious.. I might be too strict on my kid because I might compare him to my brother... And he doesn't deserve that.

I must admit that I had a similar fear for my stepson but we get along really well.. He's built very similarly to my brother when he had that age (both are very muscular) but he doesn't intimidate me.. Because on the inside we're very alike and we understand eachother. (I think we have a similar type of ASD, he doesn't know about mine, because it's not officially diagnosed, but he feels like I'm the only one who understands him, including his autism counselor)

Anyways it's different because I don't really know what kind of a teen my son will be...

I know I should let it go.. But when I look at pictures of my son, I see my brother.. And it's scary...

Our son, btw.. Is the most lovely kid you'll ever meet.

When we're out people always ask us if he's always this happy.. And he usually is, unless he's tired.

@Des

I have been to therapy, however I stopped going when I was pregnant.. They weren't open due to covid and then I assumed saving the money for the baby was better, we have great insurance but it doesn't cover private counseling, so it's expensive. State counseling is covered, however you'll be put onto a waiting list for a year or longer.

I will check for the shadow work, I've never really heard of it 😊