So please excuse the graphic nature and the length of this post but I want to make sure I get it down right so people can reply if they have had a similar experience. Yesterday morning, as I was just waking up, I noticed that it seemed like I had had an accident in the middle of the night. My pajama pants were wet and very uncomfortable. So as I went to stand up to see what was going on, I felt a gush come out of me. I knew right away something was very wrong. I made my way to the bathroom as quickly as possible and sure enough everything was covered in blood. I was, down to my knees, and as soon as I sat down on the toilet another stream of blood came out of me, and a pretty large size clot. About the size of a golf ball. I screamed for my husband, and he helped me and we went to the ER. While we were walking up to the door, I just kept feeling blood gushing with every step. I think I was in to much shock, because I wasn’t crying. I’ve had 4mc before this pregnancy, and I just resigned myself to the fact it was happening again, and went into “strong” mode. You know where you act like everything is ok for the sake of everyone around you even though you are terrified inside. So we get in, and we are brought back to a room. I’m given a clean pad and those hospital panties that are made out of practically pantyhose material, and change. By this point I’m still bleeding but it seems like I left the worst of it back in the parking lot. After I get back to the hospital bed (so thankful that they let my husband come in with me) the Dr. comes in. She is the same Dr. who saw me first with all of my miscarriage bleeding as well, so she says “Oh No! Well… we can’t lose hope yet let me get the Doppler”. I’m 11 weeks. It took her a good 15 min of searching but then, there it was. The most beautiful wonderful amazing sound in the world, my babies heartbeat. Still hesitant that everything is ok, I still didn’t react. I said ok good now what, why am I gushing blood? The Dr says, ok we are going to go ahead and give you an ultrasound. So about an hour passes, and the ultrasound tech, a very bubbly tiny blonde woman with what seems to be a Russian accent comes into the room, and takes me down to the sonography room. (I really really liked her). We start the ultrasound and I’m lying there, still cramping a little, and she starts pushing pretty hard. We are both silent. A few mins go by, and she says “Ok. You need to hold your breath.” I said what?? She said “Your baby is moving so much I can’t good picture with tummy and baby both moving”. She then turns the screen to me and there’s my baby, bouncing around, kicking, waving their arms, just having a ball in there. NOW I started crying. Hard. Like the end of “The Notebook” crying. The ultrasound tech says “No no don’t cry that will make it harder you need to hold your breath!” So then I started laughing, and eventually I was able to hold my breath so she could get the pictures she needed. So the diagnosis was a small subchorionic bleed 1.1cm x 1.3cm. I’m only brown spotting today, and awaiting my appointment next week that I already had scheduled. For anyone that goes through that there IS still hope your baby is alive!! I know at 40 with a history of MC I’m not out of the woods yet, but every day I’m still pregnant is a success. I’ll keep this post updated, and just wanted to write it because it was hard to find many posts where there was that much bleeding! Thanks for reading the whole thing, if you made it this far, and prayers for sticky healthy babies to all!! 💖💖💖