Only time my partner ever talks about the relationship/dynamic is when were not having enough sex..situational/libido...he's inexperienced (dynamic issues??)

Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He's pretty much new to kink and ive had one year long relationship/dynamic and a few Dom's here and there. So I'm no expert but I do have some experience. We don't do many scenes and we only follow 3/4 rules outside of the bedroom. Im a brat, I don't think he can handle it.. especially as a new b, he gets fustrated I "never listen". But he doesn't understand that if he puts his foot down and holds me accountable I'll listen more, it's my nature as a brat.. I've tried to ask for more structure but Its like I can't make him give more structure. It's also difficult because neither of us are remembering all of the rules, so I've been pushing for us to slowly add a rule once we have some memorized. (Learning the rules will come in time, not to worried about that part).

Also..

Our libidos do not match, his is higher. I can have sex on a good week 3 times a week. He says he would feel more content with sex every other day. I don't think I can do that..some women suggest that I "just take it". But if I don't want to have sex I don't feel I should have to. If I don't want to I genuinely don't want to, to the point it makes me feel uncomfortable/incompetent.

...The problem with this is I believe I would be in the mood more if we had a better dynamic. I like masturbating or doing other things together..similar things to a scene. But if he's not cumming in me it "doesn't feel as satisfying"..it makes me feel like I can't do a good job. And Neither of us get off from oral.

I'm also in the middle of switching birth control so I can't have vaginal sex, it's been a lengthy 3 week process because of complications. Because I can't get off I don't have much desire to meet his needs. We've still been doing stuff like oral or masturbating..he love anal but I'm not in the mood for it, I don't feel he's neglected.

I'm gonna write all of this down and show it to him to hopefully see what we can do. Communication and all.

..idk I may just be ranting. But if anyone has advice, thanks.