Favorite child

I'm having a hard time. My husband told me I should expect nothing different and I need not to be hurt. I am not the favorite child I know this. On my dad's death bed he didn't want me he wanted my brother I am reminded of him calling for him and having to have me as a second (brother was away for work.) I delt with situations my whole life where I was expected to take less space, time, and money. Saying used to be "leave it to R. She'll fix it." I was a doormat for problems.. My place in the family was really the bottom of the totem pole.

Examples

Brother didn't have chores, if I didn't do mine I was beaten. Brother didn't have to work, I had to pay bills while going to high-school. I didn't have birthday parties the did. My golden birthday I got nothing my parents bought him a new ATV and Truck ON MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY FOR NO REASON (I was a kid at the time so it really affected me.) They helped pay for his college, I paid my own way. Weddings my brother was given cash and a credit card, I was asked not to have a wedding. Home buying he was gifted money for repairs, down payments, and furniture, me I did it all on my own.

When my father passed away there was no will so things got split 50/50 and I became the family legal person to handle everything. I was put through the ringer. Emotionally I was so broken down. My brother wanted my dad's home and he got it. It basically ruined any relationship we had left because he didn't want to pay for it. He even lived there rent free for a while and we had to pay the mortgage before closing. He became so hostile. Everything became about money. He agreed it was 50/50 but he didn't think he should have to be treated that way and I should give up more. He actually thought I should have to pay for him to live there, he got a good deal on the home and property.

I found out today my mom is now selling her home to him for a discounted price. Their home is lavish. I am talking about a home most could never dream of owning. I found out over Facebook. I just cannot begin to wrap my head around the whole deal. I have asked nothing from my mom ever she and I were so close. I took care of her through cancer. I have been a good daughter and friend to her. I am not asking for her home I am asking her in her old age to sell it for its worth.

I get life isn't fair. I get his love has been bought. I know these things. I promised my mom who is handicapped we would always take care of her in her old age and I just don't know if I can do that now. I showed my abusive father mercy and took care of him avoiding nursing homes and staff keeping him home till his last breath. I just don't know how much mercy I have left.

My parents have acknowledge their favoritism verbally over the years and even apologize for it. So to have my mom still after all these years still show favoritism I am hurt. She has asked for forgiveness as my dad did with tears rolling down their faces for their treatment of me. Then years later still do things like give lavish homes away I really am hurt. I feel betrayed by their apologies and words. They are empty.

My husband's exact words are we are our own family we don't need them. They are showing themselves who they are and I need to let it go because they will never be good people to me. I still hurt though.