What’s the difference?? Cheating is cheating!

Question

Am I missing something..?! What the difference in a boyfriend of a few years cheating & a husband cheating? Cheating is cheating. People suggest therapy and all but it won’t change the fact at all. He stepped out period. Why is it that some people will say “He’s my husband at the end of the day!” When it comes to forgiving/acceptance of the cheating. But when it’s a boyfriend they immediately drop the dude. The husband should be dropped too. Whether kids involved or not.

Answer

To me it’s situational…. If I was with with a boyfriend and we’d not been together that long, I’d probably leave. If you can be faithful for even a few months, you’re not going to make the long haul. If it’s my husband and we’ve been together over a decade and you’ve been faithful that whole time and had a lapse…. It would be HARD but I’d be more inclined to try and make it work. I’d also think this way for a boyfriend that I’d been with for that amount of time. Now of they were perpetually cheating I’m out regardless. 
I’d say it’s less about title and more about time together vs faithfulness in the relationship.

Answer

Therapy is for some people and often it depends on the cheating. Emotional cheating is usually harder to break off and get past. Physical cheating if it’s spur of the moment type etc then that’s to be handled accordingly.
I treat cheating as cheating and I’m unforgiving but that’s a ME thing. That’s not for everyone. I can drop people and it not bother me in the slightest. Some relationships can be saved and some cannot.
Either way it’s not my business

Answer

I think a lot of it has to do with the ‘failed marriage’ label. Relationships come and go and there are no legal ties, you can just walk away. But walking away from a marriage is different because vows have been broken, lawyer’s get involved and then you’ve got a failed marriage on your hands. A lot of people put up with shit in a marriage that they wouldn’t tolerate in a relationship. But I agree, cheating is cheating. If anything, cheating in a marriage is worse because Marriage is a bigger commitment

Answer

I agree. For myself. What others do really is up to them

Answer

To expand on what some of these comments are saying, whether people know it or not, many are bound by the Sunk Time Fallacy (The Sunk Cost Fallacy describes our tendency to follow through on an endeavor if we have already invested time, effort or money into it, whether or not the current costs outweigh the benefits.) And the fallacy applies to not just cheating, but any aspect where someone has discovered they aren't happy or fulfilled in a relationship any longer but they stay because "we've been together a long time and I DO love them, I'm just not IN love with them".

Answer

There’s a higher level of commitment with marriage which makes leaving harder. Lives are generally financially and physically combined. It’s a legal headache and many take their vows seriously.

What’s the difference?? Cheating is cheating!

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