My Husband Shuts Down A lot

My husband is usually very happy and energetic. He likes to stay busy and enjoys talking about his work. When he’s not working, he buries himself in YouTube watching current events etc. I’ve been married to him for almost 5 years now, and he has never asked me a personal question to try and understand me as a person or get to know me more personally or intimately. What scares me, or what makes me anxious, is a loss of connection, or worse a connection we’re not even building. I’ve been taking the approach lately of telling him how I feel about certain things, “it makes me anxious when this happens,” or “I don’t feel heard when you do” “I really want you to support me like this” But ever since I’ve been doing this, he’s getting uncomfortable and angry, and shutting down more saying things to me like “This is all rubbish” “This is all shit” “Why are you ruining my day” “Go make something” and I’m here left feeling unheard and demoralized. He has no problem ignoring me for hours on end, so connection to him doesn’t seem to be a big factor in our marriage. He just wants things happy and light 24/7 but if I have something to say, like how he could have handled a situation a little better, or maybe he should give one genuine compliment and stop so the other person doesn’t feel uncomfortable, he shuts down and becomes extremely defensive and ignores me for the rest of the day. I don’t know how to get through to him without him insulting me in the process. All I want is a more supportive relationship and for him to be open to communication. We never had a dating phase since we were arranged marriage. So we technically never really got to know each other. And it hurts that we still don’t. And I’m afraid we’ll be married for many years and still feel like strangers. I have more fulfilling relationships with my girlfriends and other family members because they genuinely open dialogue with me, and emotionally check in. My husband is emotionally checked out and if he’s not, he’s just dancing in his own little world and I feel like I’m just watching him, not really being with him. And when I’m feeling down, he doesn’t seem to notice. Needless to say, I do feel like when we’re out and about, it’s like dancing with two left feet, I don’t know how to bring more cohesion into our relationship. I often feel embarrassed because he’ll say something weird or go on about something irrelevant or ask an obnoxious question. When I bring up these issues his defense goes up. I stayed quiet and tried to be supportive for a very long time, but I also value honesty and openness.