Is it time or just another hold your breath so you don’t cry?

Lei

I lost my baby two months ago at 8 weeks and my heart broke one again. It was my 8th pregnancy and once again for the 7th time my heart broke all over again as the cramping and pain began and my body let go of another beautiful soul. Today a little over two months I got another test that looks positive and I’m not sure if I’m happy or once again holding my breath in fear that history may repeat itself. Anyone else feeling this horrible pain?