hiya everyone. so, i'm 24 and live 3,100 miles from my family. i grew up with divorced parents and both of them abused me whenever i lived with them- it got to the point i was almost put in the foster system. my relationship with my dad is beyond help, but the past few years my mom has sought therapy, community outreach, and has really grown a lot emotionally. our relationship is a bit more stable (still some events of hurt but for the most part we're on good terms). the only thing is that we never once talked about anything that happened and how it might have affected me or her.

last week (right before the most important job interview i've ever had) she called me and said she had an astrological reading done and that our "history" was written in the stars and nothing could have been done to avoid it and that she wasn't a bad mom. i was stunned. i hung up and had a panic attack. that night i was talking about it with my boyfriend and he suggested i tell her how it made me feel since it was still raw. he helped me draft a text to her explaining why what she said was hurtful and that i'd like to talk things through if she's willing because i think it would be healing for both of us and it's clearly a huge wall between us. she was very receptive to that and said she's all in and that she's really excited for us to be close. i asked if she would mind me taking a few days of space to sit with that feeling and she said of course.

after i took a few days i reached out to her by text and said "hi mom, thank you for allowing me to take some time. just reaching out to say i love you. how are you doing?"

she never responded. it's been two days, so i reached out again and said "can you please let me know you're okay? i have my final for school on thursday and my last day is friday" to which she responded "i'm fine. let me know how it goes." ... i'm going home to visit for the first time in three years and will be staying with her for a week and i'm really scared that i've made her upset and that she'll treat me weird while i'm home. what would you do in this situation??