I’m scared to be pregnant

Don’t get me wrong, this pregnancy was planned and exciting. But I’m so scared and anxiety driven to be pregnant. My last pregnancy was miserable. I never really had that glow or love of the pregnant body. I was always scared that there would be a chance the baby wouldn’t make it. So I never let myself become attached. (He did make it) my first trimester was ROUGH. I had really bad morning sickness to the point I was in the doctors office with saline solution to get myself hydrated because I was so afraid of food/liquids.

The second trimester wasn’t too bad, but that’s when I was diagnosed with GD. Which was a huge blow to my sugar loving self. It was incredibly difficult to go from only eating bread and cheese (only thing I could keep down with Morning sickness) to not being able to eat either. The fear of losing the baby became much worse. By the third trimester I was in so much pain that the only relief was when I went swimming. I could just sit in the pool for hours if they let me simply because I was finally not in pain. The Braxton Hicks along with the back pain and muscle weakness were too much to handle on a everyday basis. After I had my son the PP was incredibly humiliating and traumatic that I still can’t talk about it.

Now I’m pregnant at 7 weeks and I’m just terrified of spending the next 33-ish weeks doing it all over again. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m scared.