Gentle parenting???

Question

For the parents out there who have transitioned to gentle parenting, could you give me the pointers and great tips!! I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD and I’m trying to be a better mother to her, Growing up in a disciplined household has its ups and downs and sure I grew up fine, but recently things have been different since giving birth and now I’m just always on my toes stressing about every little thing especially with the pandemic going on. My daughter is 1 I don’t like to spank, but I do tend to lose it sometimes and I’ve been doing much better at checking myself before I react to anything, but my daughter is reluctant and just doesn’t care about what I have to say about anything at the moment. She constantly wants attention I give it snd if I can’t I calmly try to find ways to calm her down and distract her, but it only works for so long before she’s off trying to pull down my pants and rip out my clothes. I’ve been on this positive gentle journey for about 1 week now and I’m seeing progress in me but not my daughter as of yet. I’m not expecting it to change extremely quickly, but when did you guys start noticing changes in your children and what do you highly recommend!

Answer

Respectful parenting isn’t easy, nor will the changes be immediate in you or your child. My daughter is 3 and we’ve been doing respectful parenting since she was born. You also have to understand that your baby is exactly that, a baby. They will not get why you’re doing or saying certain things and it will take awhile to see changes cause again they’re a baby, not capable of reasoning or understanding or even empathy. 
In the beginning it all about redirection, so if she’s doing something you don’t want her to, say “how about we do this instead” and redirect her on to something she can do. For hitting and what not I tell my daughter “I don’t like that” and had better results than telling her not to hit me. So she would hit me and I would stop her from doing it again, tell her I don’t like that, and step away from her. She understands now if she keeps hitting that 1) it doesn’t feel good and 2) it means mommy isn’t going to play anymore. 
Also you have to figure out your triggers, mine is whining, so I had to teach my daughter to voice her complaints (still working on it) rather than just whining. She’s getting better now that she can speak and tell me her needs/wants. I also sometimes have to take a breather and will tell her “mommy needs a minute so please sit down and play with your toys” she understands that now too. 
We also validate her emotions but have boundaries. So she can be mad, sad, frustrated, lonely but she cannot let her frustration out on us or others. We also give her choices and expectations “hey baby do you want 5 or 10 more minutes on your tablet” *set timer for minutes* “alright 10 minutes is up time to put your tablet up” and when she gets upset we acknowledge her feelings and remind her why we can’t play on the tablet for forever and that we had a deal so that’s why we are putting the tablet up and she can play with it tmwr 
Also If you have tiktok some great tiktokers to follow are @themossmomma_ @destini.ann @holistichomejourney @lackofimpulsecontrol 
They also recommend some great books!!

Gentle parenting???

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