just wanna say this off my mind . The other day (Friday) I met up with my ex to have sex and after while I was getting dressed I was just thinking how I’m getting to emotional attached again and how I thought nothing was gonna change and he walked in at that moment and asked me what’s wrong and if I was hurt & started hugging me I told him I was fine , just putting my clothes on .

But It couldn’t help that I actually was upset bc as much as I want a relationship with him , everyone would be against it :( .

Also we left his house to drop him off at his brothers house bc his dad was leaving in two days and he was gonna stay over there . On the way there he just kept playing with my hair and holding my hand and we just talked and he took pictures of us ( my surprise bc I thought we were just having sex , nothing else ) he acted like he was hungry in order for me to eat also & even paid for the food ( I felt weird bc all my life I’ve been the one to pay & with him he doesn’t like it when I pay or even offer to pay ) . He asked if I can stop by the gas station so he can buy himself more water . So I did . Tell me why when he came back he gave me a pink lemonade he says bc I didn’t get myself something to drink when he bought us food and he said “ I always got you my love, so you can see I’m always thinking of you even when you think I don’t but I always do” and gave me a kiss . So I started driving and then started to open the lemonade. I took the tap off & tried to take the white part off but couldn’t bc I was driving in a curve, so as I had the juice in one hand and the other driving ig he noticed I was struggling and helped me take it off , without me having to ask . Like I was gonna wait till I was straight and he did it without asking .

we ended up planning to go on a date, when I asked him what kind of date would he like he said he would like for us to go to the beach at night and sit and listen to the waves and go out for dinner at the beach . He said we need to plan it and it’ll be amazing.

Rest of the car ride we just listened to music and held hands and kissed at red lights and just smiled I love his smile

Before he got off I gave him a blow job bc I don’t know next time I’ll see him 🤣 & we kissed again for a while and he gave me a tight ass hug and said he’ll see me again tomorrow & Sunday & I was like I don’t think i will 😂 & we kissed one more time and he got off and grabbed his bag & forgot to grab his food so I reminded him and he goes you got me forgetting stuff and he was about to leave and he forgot his drink so I was like get your drink also and he goes what am I gonna do without you & blows a kiss at me .

I never felt so happy & at peace with myself & who I was with . He definitely makes me feel happy, calm , safe ,I’m able to feel confident ( I feel like he’s teaching me to be confident with my body ) , he has these dimples omg and he’s so sweet and caring . He spoke about us in future tense which I also found lovely

As much as I loved how my Friday night went with him , the next few days he’s been very dry with me( literally only sent me three mf texts in two fucking days ) but still watches everything I post .

I know sometimes in texting people are different from in person but man it hurts tbh especially bc Friday he seemed passionate about me and talking about future plans and the boom dry asf .