How did you get over your relationship?

Question

Idk how i’m gonna move on. i feel physical sick and i just know i’m gonna lose weight from not eating. how do i stop myself spiraling?? how did you get over your breakup but in a healthy way? i need tips please. how do i stop thinking about them?

Answer

Time.
But do not try to rush or deny phases.
Accept that you miss him, accept you are upset, accept whatever stage you go through. 
And dont try to set what types of feeling you should have because of the situation.
You can be mad at him but still miss him.
You can know he is hurting u but cry because you want him back.
You can acknowledge the good and the bad. It is not one or the other.
It is finish for a reason. It might not be what you wanted how you wanted but it is finish.
It was probably an important part of your life but it is not what defines you or your life so don't be thinking your life is over.
Be true to yourself, time will do the rest.
As for eating you are aware of the impact of not eating so just eat because you know your body needs it to function and you have things to do. That relationship was not your whole life.

Answer

Keeping yourself busy, surrounding yourself with loving people, babysitting, walking dogs, they will comfort you, obviously not torturing yourself by listening to sad music or movies, exercise is a great way to keep yourself busy, not only that but it releases hormones in the brain that make you feel better, endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, etc. I basically walked away the pounds is the best way of putting it, I dropped almost 100 pounds in a year that I had put on between miscarriages, and eating out every night with my bastard ex who slept with half our town behind my back. Another great way of dealing with things as volunteering, it’s good for the soul, it’s like a makeover for the soul if you will, makes you not focus on yourself and your problems but instead focus on other people, and it makes you have a different attitude and be appreciative that you don’t have to deal with what they do. From reading to the blind, feeding the homeless at a soup kitchen, Habitat for Humanity, volunteering at an animal shelter, etc. There’s more to life than just what goes on in the four walls of your home. I think you need to get outside of your head, take up some activities, keep yourself busy and don’t think about him because he’s not worth it. Block and delete him on everything so you don’t have to see him MoveOn, avoid him in places used to go that way you don’t have to run into them. Just keep yourself busy. Sometimes you need to change your hair, change your job, get a pet, you do what you Gotta do. Sometimes a makeover and pampering yourself, massage, taking a bath, drinking some wine, manicure pedicure, you get the point part but love yourself, date yourself, pamper yourself, and remembering that a man doesn’t complete you, you complete yourself. This is exactly why you need to have a balance in a relationship of a life of your own and the relationship being part of your life but not the air that you breathe, because when the relationship does not last, you crumble. Don’t make a relationship the air that you breathe, let it be part of your life, but not your life. Have a job, get another job, and keep yourself busy, go to the gym, pamper yourself like I said, spend time with friends and family, life existed before him and it will exist after him. Focus on yourself, learn a language, take up some kind of art, something to do with your hands, do puzzles, crossword puzzles, play games on your phone, there’s more to life than just this person. Just take it one day at a time, we all have good days and bad, you give yourself some grace and space on the bad days, but the best thing is not to torture yourself I know we tend to Think about the what was it what could’ve been, but you need to live in reality of what it is, he’s not the person you fell in love with, remember all the bad things and why the relationship didn’t work and go from there, I no longer call my ex by his name, he’s jack ass to me he doesn’t deserve to have a name. Especially for the crap that man put me through. I was emotionally attached due to having two miscarriages, and he knew that I wasn’t going anywhere and he use that to his advantage to get away with murder, we didn’t live together, the minute I would go home, he was going out to the bars and hooking up with women. Well disappointing women. I can assure you none of them enjoyed it LOL￼￼￼￼. Just keep yourself busy, you never know where you will meet someone, take the time to heal before you move on, and reach out and get some therapy, talk to someone, and eventually you’ll get to a place where you no longer miss him, whether that is because you’ve moved on to someone else, or you just don’t give a damn about him and couldn’t care less, in all honesty I hope my ex gets reemed in the ass with a cactus, that’s what he deserves, LOL and eventually you will get there too. I was with my ex for five years, it took me a year to lose the weight, so it ended in December 2017 by February 2019 I started dating again, two guys that were just a waste of my time and just wanted to use me for sex, which didn’t happen, and by October 2019 I had moved onto my previous partner, I was with him for a year or so, and by June 2020 I moved onto my partner that I’m with now. I finally stopped missing my ex by February 2020 in all honesty it took time, even though I was with my partner since October 2019, down deep I still missed my exit, and it wasn’t until February the following year in 2020 that I start missing him because I finally got over him, it takes time. But take the time to heal, don’t just go to the next person and then blame him for the last person did because you’re sabotaging the relationship even before it began because you never dealt with the issues. Take the time to heal, I can’t stress that enough

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Answer

Write a letter to yourself, including all his bad points, include any nasty or weird things he ever said to you and anytimes he ever let you down. Dont write down anything good, just the bad or weird things. End it with a sentence like "I deserve a man who treats me better than this." Whenever you feel like you're missing him read what you’ve wrote down. Trust me It really does help.
Arrange to do things with family and friends so you have things to look forward to. Day trips, movies, shopping, concerts, nights out. Anything fun. 
Treat yourself to something nice, it doesn't have to be expensive, just something you like. For example if you can’t afford new clothes you could just go to your favourite coffee shop and buy a slice of your favourite cake instead. 
My friend totally redecorated her entire house after her ex left. Obviously not everyone can afford to do that but you could move the furniture or pictures around so it looks different. 
Also if you don’t have kids block and delete his number and his friends if you haven’t already and have as little to do with him as possible and ask any mutual friends to be respectful of that. If you do have kids only respond to messages about the children. Ignore the rest.

How did you get over your relationship?

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