Full disclosure/TMI but that’s what this app is for, right?

So I think I struggle with vaginismus or something like that bc I struggle w pain/trouble with sex… my bf and I have tried p-v sex a few times and we were successful upon insertion (progress!) but I couldn’t continue. I wanted to keep trying but my boyfriend didn’t want to and kept discouraging me. So I started crying and ran to the bathroom. He followed me and then he held me for awhile and I refused to speak and I was so hurt and all I’ve wanted is NORMAL sex for a long long time. I feel so useless and unwanted.

We had anal sex instead and while I like it but I still want to have regular sex too.

Flash forward to today and I had predicted a friends pregnancy and learned she was pregnant. I jokingly told my boyfriend that I have a built in pregnancy test.

He then says, no more trying to have regular sex b/c I could get pregnant. We always use condoms when we try (and I wouldn’t do it if I knew I was ovulating or on my most fertile days..) I want to continue making progress with healing my vaginismus. He literally refuses to try it and it makes me feel like crap. I hate this so much. I am hurting. Why does he not care about what I want? I am so frustrated. He doesn’t want kids at all but I want them. Not now, so I’d be careful of course.

I’m so frustrated and angry at him and I’m ignoring him right now bc I don’t know what to say to him bc it feels like he never listens