Cried so much last night because toddler won’t sleep

I know I only have myself to blame, but I’m a first time mom, I just didn’t know any better and how much it would impact me in the future. My toddler is 14 months and still needs to be rocked to sleep. It used to be really strong rocking, now I gently tap him in my arms in bed and he takes about 40 mins to sleep. But lately it’s just consuming me. He wakes up in the middle of the night because he needs help sleeping again. Last night I was awake for 3 and a half hours trying to rock him to sleep. He was calm, wasn’t crying or hungry, just silent and awake. I cried so much because I couldn’t believe how hard this is. I want to just leave him and let him fall asleep on his own but his cries are so strong and loud. I just don’t know what else to do. If anyone has any experience with this please share. I don’t know what my life has become.