Why am I thinking like this

Question

Back on New Years my ex broke up with me and I was devastated. Recently I started talking to this new guy and we are getting to know eachother and out of no where I just thought of my ex and I’m crying so hard as to why wasn’t enough for him. Have I moved on ? I legit never thought about him until right now

Answer

Sounds like you may not be fully over the break up.

Answer

Stop living in the past, the relationship is over, and no longer serves you, stop sabotaging your happiness, I don’t blame the new guy for what the last guy did because the only thing you’re doing is stealing your happiness and sabotaging the relationship. We often live in the past, because we give people the benefit of the doubt, as women especially, and we try and see the best in people. When in reality those red flags that we dismissed, end up being the problem in the end because we just missed them. And those red flags turn into bigger red flags. It wasn’t that you weren’t enough for him, it was that he was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve you. He didn’t appreciate you, he didn’t respect you, he didn’t love you. He wasn’t the person he was when you first started dating, everyone put on a façade in the beginning to hide who they truly are, if everyone put their negative traits out there and we’re straight up, hi I’m an asshole who’s going to treat you like shit and ghost you or abuse you or take advantage of you is that OK, no one would want to be with them, or the crazy women who wanna change your man, or hoped to change your man, who end up not in the end. We’re trying to prove them wrong, when they told you straight up who they were. Like I said it wasn’t you. He didn’t want a long-term relationship, he didn’t want to be with you, and you deserve better that is the bottom line you deserve happiness, you deserve love, you deserve so much more than he could offer you. You were settling because you didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t respect you, he didn’t love you, he didn’t care about you or your feelings, if he could break up with you on New Year’s Eve that is like the super douche bag thing to do. Leave the past in the past, stop thinking about the water from what could’ve been, because it was not The reality of what it is. Remember the asshole that he was in the end, that’s who he was. He put on an act so that you would suck in and get you emotionally attached, then they flip the script, they do the maximum in the beginning to get you, and once they have you, they do the minimal, and you end up chasing after him trying to keep the relationship going, no don’t do that. I Tolman day one I don’t do hook ups, I don’t do friends with benefits, I’m a relationship girl and if you’re not on board with that, then I don’t waste my time. That will help with some of the pump and dump guys we just want to use here. I told men I will not chase after you, I will match your effort, if you don’t make the effort, you will not hear from me. The egg does not chase the sperm. You never chase after a man, oh that does is allow a man to use and take a vantage of you. You said the standard, you defined the relationship, stop giving men that power to be able to string you along to, defined the relationship, use you, take advantage of you, make you feel bad about yourself, etc. You set the boundaries, you set the standard, you get what you want from the relationship and don’t allow him to have that power and control. As women need to stop doing this. Allowing men to call the shots, define the relationship, we’re just talking no, I’m messing around with other people, and I’m just using you, I’m looking for my best option I’m talking to multiple women at the same time and what one won’t do, another will, and that is exactly the problem with social media, it’s instant gratification, it’s talking to multiple women at the same time, it’s hiding behind a screen who you really are, I’m just using women left and right, the Internet has ruined dating, and because of these hook up sites, there’s more married man there are single men on dating sites unfortunately. We need to break the cycle, we need to break the toxicity, and we all need to warming up and stop allowing this bullshit from happening. You will be OK, take it one day at a time, take the time to heal, I don’t think you’re over this guy, I don’t think you’ve healed, I think he went from one relationship to the next because you didn’t wanna be alone, and because you’re vulnerable, and because you’re feeling this way, that opens the door for men to take it vantage and use you, when your self-esteem is up, your confidence is up, your self-worth is up, you attract higher quality people. When your self-esteem is down, your self-worth is down, you attract nothing but crap that will use you when you allow them to because you don’t want to be alone. Stop that. Take the time to heal, work on yourself inside and out, become the woman you want to be. Stop tolerating the bullshit. When you see a red flag, don’t collect them like they are dozen roses, dismiss them. You owe them nothing, love yourself, date yourself, pamper yourself, take care of yourself, you don’t need a man to do any of those things, you can do them yourself. A man does not complete you, you complete yourself. Be the strong independent woman that I know you Canby. You’ve got this. Take the time to heal I can’t stress that enough. Because the only one of your stealing happiness from as yourself.￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼

Why am I thinking like this

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