I am Christian and I feel like my relationship with God is on and off. I don't want it to be that way but idk sometimes it's hard to believe.

Idk I'm just mad at God sometimes. I got out of a toxic home situation over a year ago and things ended pretty badly. We lost everything but we slowly got everything back again. And it was hell for those few months. I was depressed and felt defeated. But I started praying and I believe God helped a lot.

It's just Right now I feel hurt and angry it all happened in the first place. Yea, physically, we got everything back, but I'm still hurt. And I know God didn't do any of that to me, it was my family who did. But he allowed it.

He allowed them to put us down and kick us out and make me so powerless. If God was here then why does he keep allowing them to mess with us. I know revenge is bad but I feel so angry that they get away with hurting us and I can't do anything about it.

I feel so powerless and I feel like God isn't there sometimes.

When I'm afraid I pray to him. But what did I do that was so bad for me to deserve this? I'm not innocent but why do they get to get away with this?

I just need some encouragement. Please don't ridicule me for my beliefs.