God won't let me die. I don't know why. I've faced death more times than I can count to the point point where I no longer fear it. I've been through hell and back in my life. I have have wisdom way beyond my years. I've even lost a child... it's the hardest thing. And I just want to die... and God won't just let me die... He won't take me out of my misery, He won't take away these trials and shit that keeps hitting me in my life.. losing my first child ever.... the child I've been praying for since I could remember.... I just cant..... why does God hate me so much? What did I do?