So lost and idk what to do?

So my fiancé called off our wedding and said he felt we weren’t ready and he wasn’t in love with me. I told him I would move on and two days later he swore he wanted to make it work. We have been arguing every sense. He is hardly confident in me and just overall doesn’t sext me up either. Then we have gotten into fights and he has called me “stupid” “bitch” and points down at me and says “I’m tired of you”. Every time I go to leave he is always I love you and stuff. We have two kids involved and I know I love him but my reason for making this is to say I am so lost. All the things I thought I would never do I’m doing. I keep adding people on snap and stuff like that I don’t even recognize myself and like why?. I feel so weird I could throw up over it. Today he told me he’s sorry and wants to make it work but I feel wierd it’s hard to explain completely. He has just done so many odd things like deleting social media right after that and it’s been hard for me to trust him after that. I’ve tried telling him and talking to him about everything that bothers me but he doesn’t listen and blames it all on me. Then goes back and says he loves me. I’m confused on myself why am I making these mistakes…