Should I have to pay?

Question

Hi!
One of my best friends is getting married soon and I won’t be able to make it to her wedding. We don’t live in the same country anymore and I will be 38 weeks pregnant. My Dr told me I shouldn’t fly (especially during corona) and as disappointing as that is, I agree. 
I called my friend as soon as I was certain I wouldn’t be able to make it for her wedding and she understood and took it totally fine. 
She came in town a few months ago and I spent a lot of time with her and sent her home with a handmade gift I made her. (Something connected to our childhood, a special memory).
Anyway- she still told me I’m a bridesmaid even though I obviously won’t be making it. Someone made a group chat with all the bridesmaids on iMessage and I felt weird leaving it, so I stayed even though I didn’t write anything bc I wouldn’t be there.
So here’s the question: a couple days ago a fellow bridesmaid texted me privately and asked even though I’m not attending, if I could pitch in for a gift they’re presenting to her on the day of her wedding. 
I told them if they felt they needed another person to split with then yes, but I added that I gave her a gift and am planning on buying her more household gifts on my own and I won’t even be at the wedding...
What do you think?
Should I have to split the gift?

Answer

I would have phrased it better. If you said it how you wrote it, that sounded a little rude (“if you need someone to split”). Maybe she was just trying to be nice and include you because your friend had told the bridesmaids you are still one. All you had to say was “thanks for thinking of me, I actually already got her a gift”

Answer

I would. Emotionally you’re part of the group even if physically not. But it also depends on how much we’re talking. Big difference between $50 and like $200.

Answer

You shouldn't have to split the gift. But you didn't leave the group chat so I'm sure people assumed you would split it. Of you could afford to, I would.

Answer

Have to? Of course not but if I was in that situation I would because I would want to.

Answer

Have to? No. 
But if you already offered to help pay, it’ll seem weird that you’re backing out

Answer

It’s completely up to you whether or not you want to chip in for a gift. Personally, I would. Reasons doing so, is because I was meant to be bridesmaid, so the relationship between you both is special enough to be one. If you don’t want to chip in, get her something from yourself instead

Answer

She's your best friend. Yes, you should split.

Answer

You already got her a gift, a personal one at that. And on top of that, you aren’t really involved in the gift THEY want to get her. I wouldn’t contribute. I’d kindly decline and explain why.

Answer

I would wsbt to be apart of it. No you don't HAVE to but it would be nice as it's a gift presented to her on her wedding day.

Should I have to pay?

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