Is this wrong of me?

Question

Me- I’m very nonchalant, I try not to stress too much and just let life happen. I’m all about what I can’t control try not to dwell on the outcome. My partner- is a over thinker, he gets really bad anxiety, stresses himself out too much. It’s starting to get to me 
Sunday he was already complaining about Monday - workday, yesterday he had a shitty day and today it’s barely 10am & he’s already starting about how he’s “over today” I’m starting to not want to talk to him because it puts me in a bad mood. I hate negative energy so is this wrong of me for feeling this type of way? I brought it up yesterday just telling him to relax, take a breather, he makes it harder on himself and he agrees but nope it’s a daily thing now and I don’t like it. It starts giving me anxiety.
Am I being selfish? 
This has been going on for two months now about his job, how stressed he is, how much he doesn’t like it,
Edit- no he’s like this with everything, he constantly needs to talk to others because I feel like he doesn’t trust himself. Confident in himself/ his work. His life decisions

Answer

If it's getting to the point where it's effecting his relationships with others, he needs outside help. Counseling or therapy and possibly medication could be very helpful for him. I get that it's tiring to hear the negativity daily but try to approach it from a place of understanding and concern with him. He may be overwhelmed and possibly depressed, both need outside help to get better. He'll learn important skills to help him cope better, change his way of thinking and help him communicate his needs with better results. Many people feel that by expressing anxiety should be enough to get the right kind of attention (whether it's validation, comfort, support, a hug, etc) that they want, it's usually not the case and they feel worse afterwards because those needs aren't met. Therapy teaches you to express yourself in a way that is direct but not demanding. Instead of "ugh I'm not looking forward to Monday at work" you'll say something like "I feel underappreciated at work, do you have time and the energy to listen right now? I could use some validation today". My husband struggled with this until he started therapy and I STILL have days where I can't say what I truly need/mean in a way others understand and I've been in therapy longer than him 🤣

Answer

Is he like this in all aspects of life though, or just his job? I was in a shitty job situation and it made my life miserable. You spend more time awake at your job than otherwise. When it's a toxic environment, no amount of "relax babe"s will cut it. I would just feel like I cant turn to you.

Answer

Im a bit like him and telling me to calm down wont make me feel better. What helps is me reading growth mindset materials and quotes about stying positive versus negative. The way i see if is that some of us have “weaker” muscles than others and that includes our “mental muscles.” He needs to “exercise” them so they can become stronger by learning to focus and consume things that help him change perspective and responses. I love using Pinterest and watching youtube videos. Maybe find him so good motivational ones and leave them playing in your home where he can hear them to indirectly help him.

And also there are apps to help him with having a positive mindset as well! Also sitting down and talking to him when he is in a good mood. Tell him this is your observation and you want to support him and heres some things that may help. Tell him to write down what he doesnt like about his life. And what his goals are. He will feel better coming up with a pln to improve it.

Answer

You cant change that about him. If you aren't willing to deal with it, its time to walk.

Is this wrong of me?

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