My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have 2 babies, one just turned 2 and the other is 4 months. My boyfriend suddenly has a major alcohol problem. We used to randomly drink together, he'd randomly stop at the bar after work when I was pregnant. Since I've had our second he's out of control. I'm hiding money from him because it can't be spent on alcohol, we have BILLS. About 3 weeks ago I told him it was time to stop, or he was gonna lose all 3 of us. Not an ultimatum or a threat, an opportunity. I made it clear I wanted to take advantage of the chance for us to better ourselves, but especially him. I can't say I haven't had drinks with him because I have, I didn't see the harm in a couple cocktails together after the kids go to bed. It's so much more than that, it's all day every day at this point. A couple drinks at lunch at work, a stop on the way home at the liquor store, and a stop at the bar at the corner. He gets so drunk he can't be a father or a partner. He can't be alone with his own kids because he's always drunk, so I can't leave my own house because he's always drunk. I have a ONE HOUR class online that he's home for instead of the babes going to their sitter. He let the baby cry for 37 minutes. Not 3. Not 7. 37 minutes. She's barely 4 months and a GOOD baby.

Anyway, I know he won't change for me or them, only if HE wants to. Problem is that we talk about this problem almost every day and every day he says sorry, and then pretends he did nothing. He gets drunk and says AWFUL shit to me.

I want my family. I want my babies to see their dad every day. I don't want to leave him, I want him to be a better man. The man I knew before. I'm in grad school and a stay at home mom, busting my ass 24/7. I'm tired. I'm especially tired of feeling alone while my boyfriend is home with me.

My girls and I are sleeping on the couch because we went to dinner with his mom and for some unknown reason, aside from being drunk, he stood up from the table pointed at our 2 year old and then me and yelled, "Everything is your DUMBASS mom's fault". I was mortified, I didn't even do or say anything. I looked at his mom and her jaw dropped. She immediately asked for the check. He didn't remember it happening by the time we got to the car like 3 minutes later. I've never been so embarrassed. This is a really nice expensive restaurant, and the father of my children just yelled at my daughter that me, her mom, is a dumbass.

So, to make all this worse, we are supposed to move 4 states away to be closer to his family next month. I have all my family here and my nearest friend or relative where we would be going is 2.5 hours away. I told him a couple weeks ago I wasn't going if he didn't change, his mom is supposed to move a whole truckload of our stuff on Saturday and I don't want her to take a damn thing. I don't wanna go. I'm already lonely and my family is 30 minutes away. They'll be 800 miles away. I'll only have him and my babies. I can't. And idk how to tell him that now.

This is so long sorry. I just don't know what to do, or how to address this or what to address first. I know I need to wait until he's sober and be calm when I talk to him, but what do I even say at this point? "Told ya so, we're not moving with you" is the general feeling, but I can't say that..

I just wanted my FAMILY. But my girls are suffering now.