I just need to get this off my chest and I apologize for it being very long..

I had a miscarriage 4 years ago. The baby was planned and so loved already, and was devastating when I miscarried. The dr who I was seeing was so unsympathetic. My body never regulated itself after I lost the baby. I told her we wanted to keep trying. She told me she would put me on clomid but never did. Then I would get these long, heavy periods that lasted months on end. She would give me progesterone to stop it. I'd bleed through everything in an hour, and I'd double up on the pad/cups. I would then not bleed for 4 months and then bleed for 6 months straight, and then she would just give me progesterone and it starts all over. We did this 4x. She never listened to me. I did an ultrasound and had a cyst, polyps and fibroid. She said we'd have a plan to get rid of them and I would get pregnant. Months go by and nothing from her. When she finally got back to me (3 months later)because I blew up their phone, she said everything was fine and normal. I know, I was stupid for continuing to see her.. I just went to a new OB and I have a large cyst and polyp still...and I have to go in for the surgery to remove the polyp in Dec and they're doing a biopsy. My husband and I had just decided we aren't going to have any more kids because the pain of getting a negative test every month and all the bleeding I've had the last 4 years...I cried in her office and I've cried so much thinking about how the previous OB never once tried to help me. I will never have another baby and I should've tried harder to find a new dr. My husband is worried and scared about my surgery in Dec but from what I understand, I should be fine within a day or so. I'm just sad because they're putting in an iud to regulate my bleeding...and I will never have my dream of a baby. I say never because we've decided we're too old to care for a baby now. He doesn't want to be in the 60s when our kid would graduate.

I'm sorry this was so long, and all over the place. Thank you for reading if you made it this far.