How did you know?

So I don’t know who to talk to around me but I’m 23. Ive always dated and been with men, but in the last year or so I’ve really been questioning everything about myself. Talking to men feels so forced, I feel like I force myself into doing it and I have for years. I’m not happy but I should be, I’m with a man who loves my kids and I love his and I thought that’s what we all needed, he’d do anything for us but it doesn’t feel right. I’m into women, but I’ve been with only men. I thought to myself, okay, I’m bisexual. How would I know if I’ve never actually had a relationship with a woman before ? But the more I think about it the more questions I have for myself. Plus there’s a woman I have like really deep feelings for and I’ve been putting it to the side because I’m in a relationship. How did you know you were gay? I don’t want to offend anyone at all but I seriously don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I haven’t been myself for so many years because I’m so worried about what people think of me. It’s not just something that’s randomly happened, when I was younger I talked/flirted with girls my age but never really thought anything of it and never let it go too far because of how my family thinks. I don’t know if anyone can relate. Obviously nobody can tell me what I am, but I’m so confused. I need advice. In a way I’m afraid to say I’m gay, even to myself. I feel like people would say “no you aren’t” because they’ve seen how I’ve been with men but they don’t realize how forced it is. Being with my boyfriend right now just makes me feel guilty. I want to love him and have a happy life with him but I know deep down I’m not being true to myself and he deserves a lot better. 😩 please any advice would be so great.