I feel terrible and guilty for being upset and crying the other day over not sure if I wanted to stay with my booked photographer for maternity shoot after seeing another photographer’s studio work. I didn’t want to cancel with the photographer booked as we have used her for a few years and she’s great. I feel bad because I was being bratty as I wanted to do both but that is expensive. I am fortunate to even have one at all as many do not even have one as some cannot. When my husband and mom said this it snapped me out of it and I felt like an ungrateful brat. I am so blessed and here I was wanting both. So I decided the other photographer will still be there next pregnancy. Then I asked for forgiveness of acting that way and moved on. The reason this guilt came up in me again is because yesterday both my mom and dad found out they may be losing their jobs. This made me feel like “my dilemma” was so beyond ridiculous and how unimportant it is to have a shoot at all in the grand scheme of things . Hope that clears up why I feel so bad. I know God forgives me, but things like this really open your eyes to what’s important and make you realize something that seemed like a “dilemma” which I knew was over dramatic in the moment I was feeling and acting that way but maybe hormones heightened that really was so wrong as I knew but this brings it out more. I hope everything will be okay for my parents…