In need of a friend…. Never felt lonelier…

So this might feel odd.. posting here… but tonight I just feel so alone despite being surrounded by people who love me. I guess Im in need of a friend to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. I had my third miscarriage in October… it was so traumatic for me because I had heard the heartbeat twice and I knew the gender. When it happened I felt my heart torn.. shattered into tiny pieced. I do have a toddler and he is my life! But still… its a painful and traumatic experience that takes time to heal….. Anyway, I decided to get back to work after 3 years of being a stay at home mom. I was looking forward to it……Finally something that would keep me distracted from what had happened….and also a good way to meet new people and possibly make new friends. Its currently my first month and well so far its been nothing of what I expected. The work itself is awesome and I love it but unfortunately the people not so much. I have never felt more lonelier and out of place in my entire life…. And im not a quitter… I also need the income. But I just wish People understood the impact they could make on others and being nice really doesn’t cost a thing…. Maybe I expect too much….. The place is not only short staffed but it seems no matter how nice or courteous I am to my colleagues they don’t seem to reciprocate…. They are so negative about everything… they keep saying how newbies don’t last.. they create drama amongst themselves… talk about each other…. They make inner jokes I don’t understand… they all congregate around me since we have cubicles and they all have their own conversations. I’ve never felt more awkward and out of place in my life. I have tried to make conversation or somehow include myself in their convo to let them know i am friendly and willing to get to know my new colleagues… but they don’t care… all they do is carry on and continue to talk amongst themselves and only acknowledge me once in a while. Never have they tried to include me to feel welcomed… they have never asked anything about my life.. it’s frustrating… its sad… im so emotional that today I just flat out cried in my car as I left the office. I have tried to mind my own business while also maintaining a professional yet friendly disposition. I’ve never felt lonelier… and now with all the holidays going on.. even more so as they are all asking each other about their plans. Not too mention im extra emotional due to my miscarriage that I can’t freely talk about as im too hurt right now by it… I guess I would just like some good vibes my way… some words of encouragement if you have any and maybe something you would tell your best friend or someone you really care about… I can’t stop my tears right now… (please don’t tell me to get counseling lol I already tried) I just need a friend right now…. Just some positivity and maybe words of wisdom. Have you gone through something similar? Thank you for taking the time to read me.