Any advice ?

Question

I think it’s the guilt honestly. I love both my daughters with my life, they are my everything 
But idk my oldest is 4 and I just look back and I sometimes miss just me and her. I feel like I don’t give her quality time like just me and her. I sometimes feel like she also misses that. I started staying home halfway through my pregnancy so we spent so much time together and I go and look back at those videos and pics and I just miss it. 
I love my younger daughter sooooooo much! But I am ebf a lot of my attention goes to her(she doesn’t take a bottle, refuses it) my energy is just so low. I’m exhausted. 
I don’t know how to manage my time to give my older daughter the attention she needs (just me and her) even though I’m with her all day every single day.

Answer

It's hard! And totally normal to feel this way. It's just a fact that the time we spend taking care of the baby is less time for our older children. It's hard not to feel guilty. What I do is: I try to focus on quality over quantity. I try to make sure to shower my toddler with affection once a day. (Usually first thing in the morning or right before she goes to bed). I snuggle her, give her a big squeeze, tell her how much I love her, how special she is, etc. It's only two or three minutes but I hope it lets her know I still care even though my attention is divided now. ❤️

Answer

You are not alone, mama!! Ive been struggling with this feeling too. I’ve been a stay at home mom my toddler’s whole life (she’s 2.5yrs) and I feel like when I had my second baby, I had to mourn the life I had created of just me and my oldest. I was depressed about it for the first few months of my youngest daughter’s life. I felt so guilty that I had to see a therapist. It’s hard juggling them both sometimes (I EBF too), especially when they are both crying or if my toddler has a tantrum while my infant is sleeping in the carrier, but my youngest’s bedtime has been at 6pm for the past month and my oldest’s bedtime is at 8:30pm which has helped SO much for me and my toddler to get some quality time. She loves it when her sister goes to bed because my attention is 100% on her. We can love our new babies beyond words and, at the same time, still miss the lives and bonds we created with our toddlers. We’re only human. It’s impossible not to miss those precious moments shared when we had more time on our hands just for them. ♥️

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