🥺🥺emotional post

Super transparent post I lost my baby on July 15 of this year and have been trying to conceive since October. AF is suppose to come on Dec 6th And I couldn’t help myself and I tested today with a first response. I don’t know why I did it because of course it was negative. I have been eating, sleeping 12 hours + and have all the symptoms of my period coming which are quite similar to early pregnancy symptoms. I cried in October and again in November. Don’t think I have the strength to deal with another heartache. What should I do? Should I just stop trying. I really wanted a summer baby because I already have two winter babies but I guess beggars can’t be choosers - Disappointed in PA