Deliver Anxiety

2 months after I had my son I got pregnant with my 2nd son who passed away 2 days after birth. We waited a year & 2 months to try again & got pregnant with our 3rd & I’m currently 17 weeks. It’s our last baby. We only wanted two but given the circumstances we tried for a rainbow baby. These were all very hard decisions, but felt like a beautiful one.

These were all c-sections. Dangerous, I know. Our beautiful 2nd baby was 100% a surprise being that soon but a blessing…

Not only am I scared to death for our baby.. so scared for my body. We were ready because I felt healthy & was told at least a year of healing for this one but the longer the pregnancy goes it gets more & more real… can’t help but think of the worse. It didn’t help my SIL told me “you should have waited longer you’re going to have a placenta detachment” my husband’s family is a little on the judgmental side ://

Just wanted some kind words for my now mixed emotions🥲