I have lost the faith 😭

Just needing some listening ears! Struggling to find the faith!

We have decided to take the month off of clomid and do my hsg instead this month! I need a break from disappointment and be more present in my life outside of secondary infertility! I'm hoping that can give more answers of why it's just not happening but I am also struggling with when is it time to accept it just may never happen and to move on?

I have one amazing son who just turned 5 and is the light of my life but I long to have one more so he could have a sibling! It's just not happening and I feel like maybe I should just find it in me to be okay with one child and that life could be so much worse but everytime I try to forget and move on I feel even more pain! I feel pain all the time and I don't know how to escape it! I'm tired of hiding, pretending I'm okay, testing, taking meds, worryinf about everything I put in my body. I'm just tired.

Do I find the strength to move on and accept or how do you find the strength to keep believing, to keep the faith? 😭