Shower during covid

My shower is supposed to be this weekend and I just had a crying meltdown. I feel guilty and reckless if I don’t cancel and sad because most of my family, the people I love most won’t be coming because of Covid. I’m vaxxed and boosted but I know this variant doesn’t seem to care. My boyfriend is deployed, he won’t even get to meet our baby until she is 4 months so I was looking forward to one normal thing. I’m having a pity party and depressed. I just want to cancel the whole thing. It’s winter so we can’t move it outside. What is everyone doing with their showers?