Babyfather left again 😢

Well I made a post a couple days ago stating that we were going to try to work out for the baby. But things didn’t go as planned. He lied to me and said he was going to live with his mom so he could get back and forth to work. But he eventually ended up at some girls house.... again. I don’t know why I continue to let this man do this to me. Out of 9 years you would think he would have more respect for me. All I do for him and he still crosses me. But always calls me when he down bad and hungry and homeless after this girl puts him out. I’m just tired. He won’t even get a job and our son is due in June. At this point I don’t even want to name him jr. I don’t want him at the hospital I don’t want him in our lives. But I know that’s selfish of me to deny my son his father and he wants to be there. I can’t even be mad Cause I’m the one who keep allowing him to come back and play with my feelings. I hate that man with everything in me. I had started to get over him and he reeled me right back in like he always do. I’m choosing me this year. I can’t go back into this depressed mode like I was in last year when he left. I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Didn’t clean my house. Neglected my kids all cause a man made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. A man who I was taking care of. A man who won’t get a job. A man who doesn’t have a car. Or his own place. His damn phone ain’t even on. I work take care of my babies pay my bills and I have my own vehicle. I refuse to let this man make me feel less than what I am any more. I just needed to vent. My sweet boy is due July 2nd. But all my babies come early so I know it’ll be June when I meet him. I have started preparing for him so I know I’ll be set by the time he comes. Father or not I GOT US