Behaviour and meltdowns

Just wondering how often your toddler is melting down (screaming, escalated, unable to calm down, inconsolable etc). I follow respectful parenting and offer choice whenever I can. I’ve started using timers as a motivator to get dressed and for bedtime routine. But there are some situations that I really can’t avoid and it’s been taking over our lives it seems. It is a struggle to get in the car. A struggle to go to the doctor. Any situation where he needs to wait- wait for me to play with him, waiting in line, wait while I grab him something- literally he has zero patience or concept of time and will just start screaming and escalates to the point where I can’t calm him down. Is this normal? I’m starting to see warning signs for ODD (which I know is way too early- I’m a teacher and can’t help but look for signs in my toddler). But it’s almost like he’s defiant just because he can be? I’m finding it really hard to be a parent the last few weeks and I feel hopeless. 😕 Going out in public with him is a complete nightmare. Staying home is a nightmare. He’s normally in daycare and they haven’t mentioned anything to me about his meltdowns.. we’ve been home Sick the last while. Is it just me??