Do you think I'm a fool?

Question

I have been with my SO for over 7 years now.. He hasnt proposed despite telling me year after year that he will be doing it "in the next year". Its not something we discuss a lot so I'm not pressurising him into it btw. But sometimes I feel like a fool for staying with someone who clearly like me enough to propose 😔 I know im probably being silly but it's getting to me 🙈 I feel very insecure rn

Answer

I don’t think you are a fool. Especially if you don’t discuss it a lot. Not everyone is jumping to get married, it doesn’t mean they love their partner any less. I think if you want real answers it is something you guys have to discuss properly. Don’t pressure him into it, but if it’s something you feel strongly about then you should definitely make that known.

Answer

I don’t think your a fool. Many have been in your shoes. However, around the 3-4 year mark if we were ready and he said he was going to and didn’t, I would walk personally. I would be heartbroken but I don’t think marriage should be asked by an ultimatum either. Either he wants to get married or he doesn’t.

Answer

Not sure if this will help or not, but my parents were together for 7 years before they got married. They’ve been married for over 30 years now. If it’s important to you, tell him. Have a frank discussion about it because if he isn’t actually planning on marrying you, wouldn’t you rather find out now rather than waiting for another 5 years?

Answer

Have u guys been working towards a future? Do u already live with him? Own a home? Have children? Has he discussed future plans and that he is working on them such as career or home ownership? How old are you all?

Answer

I would tell him what you were expecting out of this relationship and if he is not wanting to marry you then you could leave. My husband didn’t propose to me until after six years but he knew I wanted to get married and if we weren’t on the same page I would’ve left. I feel like it was now or never But I feel like everybody is different

Answer

You really need to get a grip if i'm honest with you. Sounds like pressure to me.
I have been with my soul mate for 11 years before he proposed.
You should be thinking he loves you enough to spend 7 years of his life with you.
I never ever expected my partner to propose to me, I enjoy him and love him every day & he will always be my forever even if we never get married.
You need to stop stressing out, enjoy your life with him and be thankful for that time, rather than the negative "he's not proposed, therefore he can't love me enough"
It sounds ridiculous

Answer

What else does he says besides the next year I’ll propose? 
My now husband was being vague too at first and then we had a serious conversation (I was going off to grad school and we would be long distance). I needed to know whether he was thinking about marriage for us in the future and why hadn’t he proposed yet. He told me once I’m done grad school and we have lived together for a year. My now husband talked in depth about our future, how many kids we would have and all. 
He proposed a little over a year after living together. I was getting nervous for a couple months when the year marker came around. I told myself… in the next 6 months if he doesn’t I would have to leave. I was at a point in my life where I could easily be single and work, meet someone else. 
You need to come up with your own time frame… get him to say why he wants to wait another year. If he won’t then you need to say silently to yourself “I’ll wait one year then I haven’t move on” 
Because it will eat at you if you stay and you don’t want to force him

Answer

It’s up to you if you want to wait around, we can’t make that decision for you, if you decide to give him an ultimatum to shit or get off the pot, that’s up to you as well. He could be telling you what you wanna hear, or his life isn’t the way he wants it to be before he gets married. Some people want to have their ducks all in a row before they make that commitment, to be able to afford a ring or a wedding, to be able to have their dream job or purchase a home or whatever is on their bucket list of things that they want to accomplish. Some people are just happy with the way things are and don’t want to complicate things some people don’t wanna deal with divorce or division of assets, somebody taking half their pension etc. he may have zero Intention of ever marrying you and it’s just telling you what you want to hear to appease you. We don’t know we’re not him. This is a conversation you’re gonna need to have with him. Good luck￼

Answer

My husband didn’t purpose to me til after 7 years. Been together 12 years. Married for 4.

Do you think I'm a fool?

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