I’m not thinking about pressing charges or anything, but I’m wondering if this was sexual assault.

About eight months ago I made a stupid decision to runaway to see my boyfriend. I was 14 when this all happened. I was walking and this guy asked if I wanted a ride. I got in and he asked me if we could go to his apartment to get weed. I had never smoked weed before, but I was interested in trying it. So we went to his apartment and smoked about 3 rolls of weed in his car. I also drank a shot of tequila. He pulled into an empty parking lot. Some of it is kind of a blur, but I didn’t say no. I never said “yes” but the sex wasn’t one sided if that makes sense. He told me he was 27 but he might have been older because he had a lot of grey hair.

I had sex with my boyfriend yesterday and during it I was fine. But last night and today I feel disgusted with myself and can’t stop thinking about what happened. Like thinking about it makes me want to puke.