parents and relationships

I love it when my boyfriend comes over for the weekend and we get to spend some quality time together, but, the thing that does make it a bit difficult is probably living with my parents during the scenario

Though I'm almost 25 (he's 28) my mom tends to check up on us every now and again and has a rule of leaving the door cracked which he respects and I do too. It makes things a bit hard to get intimate even when it's only making out and it's like we're on the edge of our seat type of ordeal. I love my mom, but at the same time, during certain situations I almost feel as though I'm still being checked up on like a kid though we're all adults.

My dad doesn't do it at all really it's just my mom when my sister and I were younger she made the rule of leaving the door cracked when there'a a guy in the room, but, now that we're both adults is it valid to still have that as a rule? I'd like to know ya'lls opinion because to me it feels like lack of trust and being monitord like a kid/teen would be in the situation

How could I have that conversation with her of feeling this way? It feels weird since I'm almost 25 having a conversation with my mom about monitoring, but, she's done it ever since I was a teenager with guys (which made more sense then than it does now) ;-;

105 views • 1 upvote • 7 comments

COMMENT (7)

S

Posted at
Well if you wanna be a big girl move out of mom's house, otherwise follow her rules.

Ja

Posted at
I feel it's wired that a 25 and 28 year old don't have their own place. What your mum does or doesn't do is up to her, that's her house you live in.

Ja

Ja • Jan 30, 2022
Then why not just stay at his place?

Ch

Chrystal • Jan 30, 2022
He has his own house that I've visted before, I currently don't have my own place due to a few setbacks

Si

Posted at
If you're still living at home they can still make the rules. If you want things to change, it's probably time to start looking for your own place!

Ka

Posted at
I think it's creepy when parents act like that when you are an adult. But that's just me. My parents always respected my privacy, even if they definitely didn't want me having sex, even by the time I was old enough. My mom was kinda shocked I was a virgin anyway when I was 20, because I talked to her about it. It's really crazy that people say "just move out" when the minimum wage is still like $7 & home & apartment prices are not really affordable for a lot of people. Some parents have unhealthy relationships with sex, I think this is part of where this comes from. So, if that's the case, the conversation probably would not go well. But if your mom is usually pretty reasonable, I'd open a discussion about it. You are grown, after all. But I think I can understand your mom if she'd be really disturbed by thinking you are having sex- for some people that might bring up trauma or make them really uncomfortable. In which case I think you can agree not to have sex and hope she can trust you. For me, I don't really get it, I'm very open & sex positive, people having sex doesn't bug me whatsoever- but I grew up with parents who aren't really, but they kind of protected me from their trauma, which I am grateful for. Some got in, but it is what it is.

Zo

Posted at
Move out. pretty simple.