Long post***

Today I found out my husband is a narcissist and abusive. We have been going to couples therapy for a month n a half and I never realized he was using what I spoke about in therapy against me. I saw my therapist today and told her what happened this weekend. And she said "I know you love your partner but this is what I have been witnessing and X,Y,Z. I have started to read some articles on how to deal with a narcissist and honestly I don't think I can make this marriage work by myself for us. Every time we go to therapy he talks shit about my dad, my little brother and my upbringing. Never about us. And I'm sad to say I'm starting to detach myself from my husband, and it makes me cry typing this but I don't think it's going to work... For the last year I have been reading books and asking opinions from my therapist and I'm putting the work in but my husband isn't. For example if something doesn't go his way I get the bad end of the stick and get yelled at. I shut down. I go quiet. He gets more angry because I'm quiet. When I speak up he gets mad that I raised my voice. Then I walk away. Then he comes and finds me and says "how can I better myself for you? How can I be a better husband?" But I honestly tell him "be nice to me, treat me like your equal.. not your nanny/punching bag" and then he says sorry...but by then I'm emotionally upset and physically drained. I need to leave this marriage but I don't know where to go.. or what to do. I need help .. my options are 1. Go live with my dad who is manipulative 2. Go back home to Ohio where my house is (it's currently being rented out so I'd have to wait for the leases to be up and leave my job in NJ 3. But a bus that converted into a home and live in that with two dog's