I started shaking uncontrollably and I feel like he tried to rape me.

My mind is still in disbelief. My whole mouth was shaking and my left arm was getting numb. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Idk what this is called…. “Attempted rape?” I feel like I’m being used for sex at his convenience.

I was out spending the day with my bf today. Obviously we had sex. I got off the pill last month and will start the combo pill in 2 months when I get blood work. I bought condoms because I don’t trust pull out. We were getting in the mood and when he saw me get the condom he screams at me saying it’s bullshit that I have to wrap his penis. He said he will pull out. Then he says “just let it happen” I got scared. He started screaming and my body went into shock. I can’t tolerate him screaming at me. It’s high stress…I couldn’t breathe. He was freaking out and he apologized and said he will wear it. I was already sobbing so ugly. I couldn’t even cry right… my body wasn’t responding at all. It went numb and I couldn’t feel the sex as pleasurable. He hugged me and told me he’ll wear it if I feel comfortable with it

He even tried to rub my clit to get me in the mood. When I pushed away he rolled his eyes and would say “well I’ll just wear the damn condom then” he only agreed to wear it because I had to lie!! I lied and said I am on my period. I really wasn’t. I know this is my fault too but I felt like I had to lie 😟 he even checked the condom and said “there’s no blood, you just want sex your way” I lied about the period thing because he hates the blood and we used to do it that way.

We were done and we took off to get Starbucks. An older lady was in front of us turning really slow into the parking lot and my bf flipped her off and said “move you stupid cunt” I told him why he’s acting like that? He just kept rolling his eyes. He screamed at the car “move you stupid bitch” the car in front was driving slow because there’s pedestrians there …

Can someone explain why my body froze 😕 did I ruin my bf’s day is that why he was acting like that?!