My little lady really didn’t want to come on time and her due date passed. I had 2 attempted sweeps but my midwife couldn’t do it as my cervix was too high up.

I went in to be induced at 11pm and they gave me the pessary and I then tried to get some sleep. I woke up in the morning and as I got up for a wee I felt a gush of water. It was my waters mixed with urine and a very unhelpful lady came in and just said “ smells like wee to me “. I was obviously annoyed as I would know if I had just only pissed myself. She told me I had to move off labour ward and go to a room downstairs. In doing so half hour in that room I felt very strong contractions. They were coming on strong and often and my partner was timing them. When telling the woman I was in agony. She told me that since my pessary was still in that my waters hadn’t gone ( she didn’t check ) again. She had 0 bed side manor to be near women in such a vulnerable and painful state. She told me she would go get me some paracetamol. An hour of so passed and she never came back. At this point I was in tears bent over the bed trying to breath through the pain. My partner pressed the buzzer and she finally came back and said if I can walk I can go up to labour ward.

Finally in a labour room around 11am and my midwife came and checked me over. She said my pessary was basically hanging out from where my waters had gone. ( which I already knew ) and she have me gas and air and I suddenly felt a lot happier that I had some sort of help.

Through out the afternoon I didn’t really have much progression and early evening I asked for an epidural. They came and fitted it and I was waiting for the relief but no change and I was so confused. I explained I didn’t feel any different and the guy came back again and tried a second time. Still no relief. Late evening I tried to push with no luck and a doctor came in attempting to assist with tools - as I had no epidural working I felt these tools and the pull of trying to get her out and i just remember screaming thinking I was going to die as I just felt like my body was being pulled open with the tools.

The doctor could clearly see my pain and said that we would need to go to theatre. At that point I couldn’t even open my eyes and just agreed. They took me to theatre and did a spinal block on me and I finally couldn’t feel anything. They ended up cutting me (hole to hole ) also known as an episiotomy. And she was pulled out. I remember her little arm when they put her on my chest but I couldn’t hold my arms up enough to hold her so my partner held her. She was born at 01:37 hours. 26 hours after induction. 8lb 6.

My recovery was hard as the episiotomy wasn’t great with healing and I was absolutely traumatised by the whole thing.

Daisy Grace dodge was happy and healthy and is now 2.5 years old. I’m 3 months pregnant with my second and so scared of the whole process that I’m thinking of asking for a planned c section because the unknown and fear from my first birth is so overwhelming