Why? I need answers.

We have been together since 2017, and things have changed, obviously. We have two beautiful children, two stupid cats and a whole life.

When we first got together we did it all the time, the issues started a couple months after we moved in together. Shortly before I found out that I was pregnant with my first he would initiate then just stop. He made excuses like "I have to go to the bathroom". Then it was "I don't know what the issue is"

After my son was born, it was months before he touched me again. The excuses changed to "there's never any time" and "I have anxiety" I was told "don't take it personally", how could I not? Is it me? Maybe I'm not attractive anymore, did I do something wrong?

We did it once in 2020, April 4th to be exact. I got pregnant with my daughter, in an argument he told me that I did it on purpose! Anyone who has tried getting pregnant knows how hard it is! You can't force something like that.

He hasn't touched me since! Of course the excuses have changed again. Now it's "I don't want anymore kids" he has 2 other kids from previous relationships. I feel like that should have been discussed before he decided no more intimacy. I understand where he is coming from, but we are supposed to be a team. I would have appreciated a heads up, like hey we aren't having sex anymore... at all... ever.

I used to initiate, but it got old being the only one to put forth the effort, and after being turned down so many times I became self conscious, and afraid. I don't know how many rejections I could take, and I don't want to find out!

Physical touch is my love language, he knows this we have talked about it, he acknowledged it. Maybe he just doesn't care? Maybe to him it's not important?

I know sex isn't everything, but it means something. Sex is important in a relationship. He said there's no time, I believe you make time for things you find important. He admitted he doesn't have anxiety he just didn't know what else to say. He just says "what if it doesn't work" referring to his equipment, there's only one way to find out..

I guess we would cross that bridge when we came to it. Who just stops having sex in a relationship, a long term relationship at that? Why do you just stop? Why wouldn't you have a conversation with your significant other about any concerns?

Why am I not so significant?