Struggling

Baby is four, almost five, months old, and I've struggled the entire time. I have some pretty serious rage, when the baby is crying and I can't pick her up soon enough or feed her quick enough. I just yell and scream. I would never harm my baby. I know my limits, and put her down if it gets that far. Some days are better than others. My baby is dependent on me for everything: eating, sleeping, settling, playtime. My husband works so I'm home alone with her a lot. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. As time goes on my depression just gets worse. I don't even want to hold her most of the time because she just stresses me out. She hasn't been sleeping more than two or three hours at a time for at least a month now. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I'm overwhelmed from taking care of the baby all day, usually by myself, and managing housework. She always wants to be held or be able to see me. I just needed to express how I feel. My husband doesn't understand, even if he says he does.