So my boyfriend and I had a mutual break up about 3 weeks ago. We talked about being friends again after we’ve healed. We’re both at separate colleges about 45 min away from each other. Long distance wasn’t a reason for our break up but it definitely enhanced the problems that we did break up over. Not to mention we also are both questioning our sexualities - that kinda topped off the break up because we probably could have tried to work through the other things.

I had a fight with one of my friends and he came over last weekend to comfort me + pick up some stuff. Later that night we had a long talk about what went wrong in our relationship and what we could have done differently and we cried together. There was a lot of tension there and he kissed me - and I kissed him back and we ended up having sex. We hadn’t had sex in so long. Both of us struggle with mental health and both of our meds affect our sex drive. But afterwards he asked if I wanted to date again. He thought that having sex meant I wanted to get back together with him. I told him no there was reasons we broke up and explained that I just thought we were having post break up sex.

So then we had another long conversation about sex and sexuality and wether we broke up too soon. We both wish that it could have worked out, but I feel a lot less pressure now than I did in the relationship. We would have never have had that talk about what went wrong and our feelings if we didn’t break up. We came to the conclusion that friends with benefits would be okay since we did agree that we would like to stay friends.

I don’t see this as a bad thing, but I also don’t see it as a good thing ether. I don’t want to get back together because I would like to explore my sexuality and figure out who I am and I think he should too. And he’d never be okay with an open relationship to explore our sexualities.

He wants to buy me a new vibrator and come over sometime fo Valentine’s Day/ his birthday. I had bought him some stuff for his b day a while ago so I think I will go see him.