I am 32, married, and we are 34 weeks pregnant with our first child. My mom was a teen mom and did a great job raising my siblings and I. I am her only daughter and my mom has used my life milestones as an opportunity to live through me for things she has missed out on. Over the years, I have tended to set more boundaries with her on major moments that I would like to enjoy in the way I would like to instead of doing things the way she wants.

My husband and I have a very healthy relationship and communicate very well with each. My mom has not had that in her significant relationships and tends to project on us. She often will blame my husband if we or I say something or set a boundary she does not like. My reaction to these things is to pull away from her.

Since I have been pregnant, she has been very sad saying she feels I have not involved her in this journey. I have been very cautious with everyone due to covid but have also recognized that I need to engage with her in small doses for my mental health.

My question for you all is, am I being selfish or an a**hole for not opening up more to her during this time? How have you involved your mothers/parents/family members in your pregnancy?