This is going to be a long post, I’ll try to make it not too long though.

To start off with I’m a greyromantic asexual demigirl. My spouse- when we met in 2014 was a Demiromantic pansexual cis man.

I also suffer from several psychosocial disabilities such as ptsd (due to sexual trauma)

In February 2020 when I was 36 months pregnant with our second child my spouse came out to me as trans. My initial reaction was- “Okay. You have my support in whatever you need.”

A few days go by and I started to think about it more and I started to worry- what If when she transitions she isn’t attracted to me anymore? Which then led into what if I’m not attracted to her anymore once she transitions? I cried a lot worrying about that. It took a lot of time, trust and fears for me to fall in love when I believed she was a man.

From then on my eldest started calling my spouse Mama, my spouse would wear my clothes and lingerie, we also decided on a new name for her together.

However, soon after my spouse started to force sex on me multiple times a week even when I said no. (keep in mind I was almost full term) before this never happened-not ever. I’m not sure what changed for her to suddenly think it was acceptable.

It reached a point where I’d cry during sex or we’d argue every day.

Fast forward to now- she still plans to transition and after seeing a psychologist things are better and we don’t argue and she listens when I say no. We are happier and whatnot….However, I informed her I was no longer in love with her due how she suddenly became a different person and was nothing like the person I fell in love with.

I suggested an open marriage, however she doesn’t want to be with anyone else.

Am I transphobic for no longer being in love with her?