After 18months TTC I finally got my first ever BFP, I felt over the moon and could not believe it was finally happening for us. We had known about the pregnancy for only 6 days when it sadly ended in miscarriage at exactly 5wks.

I cant even describe how awful it has felt to be so stressed about TTC for so long, then feeling happier than ever for it all to come crashing down 6 days later.

Ive spent hours crying, have spoken about how I feel & have good support around me. I tried to carry on as normal and have been back at work for the last 2 weeks, expecting things to get easier with time.

But it seems to be the more time that passes the harder its getting. Its only been 3weeks since my loss but I’m still really struggling and it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.

My job is extremely stressful and I physically and emotionally feel like I cannot do it, I feel so angry at the world and have zero patience.

I have been to my GP and they’ve given me a sick note for 2 weeks. I have given this to my manager today who said ‘I cant see what 2 weeks off work is going to achieve’.

I feel so down and fed up, everyone keeps saying ‘at least you know you can get pregnant’, ‘it will happen’, ‘everything happens for a reason’ etc. I agree its amazing we managed to conceive naturally after so long as we were about to start <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> but it still doesn’t take away how heartbroken I am about my loss. I am trying to be positive and keep TTC but I feel so miserable.

Before anyone says it, I know I was very early in my pregnancy and we didn’t know about it for long but it is still my loss and I am grieving.

Ive tried doing normal things such as meeting friends/going shopping etc but when I’m there I just feel so sad, Im not myself and I cant wait to leave and be on my own again.

All I want to do is go on holiday just me & my partner, I want to get away from everything but he can’t get the time off work!

I am so lucky to have good friends and family supporting me but I still feel so alone and I am starting to feel like a burden on them.

Honestly I don’t know what to do, I’ve referred myself for some counselling but have been told there is a 8-12week waiting list to be seen.

I just needed to rant and get all this off my chest in a place that I hope people will be more understanding of how I’m feeling❤️