I left him *UPDATE*

Today is Saturday, and I left.

It’s been a really rough couple of days, I almost didn’t go through with it, but luckily my sister & mom were able to talk me down, and calm me down when I spiralled into an anxiety attack.

My plan was to pack everything and leave, and in the afternoon when he was close to the house I would send him the text message (instead of note). Because I didn’t want to throw that on him in the middle of his workday, and or while he was about to hop on the highway to get back home. Despite the relationship being kind of toxic, I still love him and care for him. He’s the first guy I’ve had the longest relationship with, and the first guy I’ve ever moved in with, even though it’s only been 2 years.

(yes that is my longest relationship as of now lol)

But In the morning he sent me a text message, and I decided to send him the pre-written message I prepared since last night.

After I sent this text message, I headed towards our place and began to pack my things quickly because I was late and didn’t want to have my ride wait past our arranged time. Even though I have been treated poorly a solid few times duration our relationship, I still care for him and decided to do one last nice thing for him, and clean up the place since I’ve been gone for 3 days and it was a mess.

I didn’t do any deep cleaning because fuck that lol. But I gathered the garbage, did the dishes, picked up his socks and put it in the hamper, made his bed and lightly- quickly swept the floor, and made the couch look neat. So when he comes home from work, it can feel like a fresh start for him.

Maybe I was being way too nice, because my sister said that my text/note ideas are too business professional, or way too nice Lol. But honestly I just wanted to end things on good terms, not petty or anything of that kind.

My ride came, and I loaded everything in the car, and now I’m back at my mom’s. I felt a bit emotional, and still do on and off but I’m okay. And I know that I will be okay :)