The 28th we received the worst news we could’ve had.

Back story- 4 days prior to our first ultrasound (9 weeks) we got blood work from sneak peak to see the gender. We fast tracked it because we were so anxious and got our results Saturday- 2 days before our appointment. We have 4 daughters, they all wanted a brother and my husband and I really wanted our last to be a boy. Well, results came and it was a boy. We were so thrilled we couldn’t not announce it.

Come Monday we go to our hospital. I am feeling the same that I have the whole pregnancy and really had not too many symptoms (assuming cause different gender maybe that’s why my pregnancy was totally different) as she’s doing the transvaginal ultrasound I immediately don’t see that wonderful beating heart but I chalked it up to her wanted to take my uterus pictures first. Once she got to the baby I knew. Aside from not seeing the heart beating, he was not moving at all. When she put the blood flow over him— there was no blood flow going to him. After 3 minutes she said “I’m so sorry… I can’t seem to get a heartbeat. I have to get the doctor.”

We were told by the doctor he had to have passed prior to the appointment or the day prior because he was measuring perfectly at 9 weeks. We are devastated. They set my last ultrasound up for 9 days later, then we decide what to do from there. I am showing no signs of my body starting the miscarriage on its own. Knowing I am carrying my son this whole time, with my bump still there, and he is not alive has been torture. Explaining to our daughters their brother is no longer alive in my belly was heartbreaking.

Prior to this, I didn’t know missed miscarriages was a thing; I assumed you knew when it was happening. You do not. 😔😭💔